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Tales from the Courtroom

Some horror stories in court are worse than any movie Hollywood ever came out with.

We have some “horror stories” from lawyers about divorce cases they were involved in.

On a popular website, there was a recent request for divorce lawyers to tell their most outrageous stories of divorce and child custody cases.

Divorce is an emotionally wrenching experience for the people involved. It can change a person’s normal personality. As divorce lawyers will tell you, they sometimes see good people at their worst.

With that said, sometimes the antics of the participants crosses the line into the silly and bizarre. Here are some of my favorite stories from this source.

For the record, none of these are from our firm.

  • The man who wanted the divorce decree to include a provision that his sons were prohibited from watching NASCAR, because his wife’s new boyfriend was a big NASCAR fan.
  • The lawyer who told the story of how easy her first divorce case was, because it was her client’s fifth (yes, 5th) divorce! The very experienced client knew exactly what to do, was exceedingly well prepared, and even taught the new lawyer a few things about questions to ask during a divorce trial.

  • The case that devolved into a real battle over property. The parties had gotten excessively nit-picky about the value of certain assets. One of the parties decided to inventory all of the individual food items in the house. They listed every item on their marital property statement. Things like “Campbell’s condensed tomato soup – $0.59” were included.
  • The man who asked the court to reduce his child support obligation after he was fired from his public school job for a very public and very scandalous act I won’t detail here. The other side argued he should not get a reduction because his change in employment was “in bad faith.” The Judge agreed.
  • The couple that filed mutual restraining orders for unspecified “violence” against each other. The applications were very vague on details. When the matter came to a hearing, it turned out the alleged violence was spitting. It seems the couple had a heated argument. Each accused the other of hitting them with small flecks of spittle which escaped their mouths while yelling at each other. The Judge promptly dismissed both restraining orders, probably angry that such a claim belittles something as serious as domestic violence.
  • The woman who was convinced her husband implanted micro robots in her brain to control her. She supplied her lawyer with articles on nanotechnology to convince them it was possible. She had no evidence, of course, but it was possible you see. The lawyer did not use that in court, which probably saved her having another story about being disbarred.

We have to point out, that these sorts of cases are the exception – not the rule.

Most of our clients are very rational and reasonable people just trying to make it through one of the toughest times in their lives. Most do not do things like this.

Want to know more? Discover what you need to know about divorce in Maryland. Click here to see our Free Legal Consumer Guide to divorce cases in Maryland and get answers to your questions today.

Know your options. Be informed. Protect yourself.

Need a divorce lawyer or child custody attorney? Please contact us for a consultation today if you need a Maryland divorce lawyer for your family law case.

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